Before kids, my husband and I were disgustingly in love. We cooked together, traveled together, talked for hours. After our daughter was born, we became two tired people who happened to share a mortgage and a baby. Our conversations became transactional: who's picking her up, did you buy diapers, your turn for the night shift. Romance didn't die — it just couldn't find us under all the logistics.
We started scheduling time together like it was a work meeting. Every Thursday night, no phones, no baby talk. Sometimes it was dinner out. Sometimes it was just sitting on the couch watching something together. The point wasn't what we did — it was that we carved out space to be a couple instead of just parents. It felt forced at first. Then it felt necessary. Then it felt like the thing that was holding everything else together.
Your relationship after kids won't look like it did before kids. That's okay. But it does need to exist as its own thing, separate from parenting. The couples who prioritize that are the ones who make it through the hard years and actually like each other on the other side.
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