Nobody told me that becoming a working mom meant living in a permanent state of guilt. At work, I'd see photos of my daughter and feel terrible for not being with her. At home, I'd think about deadlines and feel terrible for not being more present. The guilt was constant, exhausting, and completely irrational — because the alternative to working wasn't magically being a better mom. It was being a broke, resentful one.
My therapist said something that changed my perspective: guilt is the tax society charges women for having more than one identity. Men don't feel guilty for working after having kids. They're expected to. Women are expected to sacrifice everything, and when we don't, the guilt fills the gap between expectation and reality.
I still feel it. I don't think it ever fully goes away. But I've learned to observe it without obeying it. The guilt is not evidence that I'm doing something wrong. It's evidence that I'm doing something hard. And my daughter will grow up seeing a mother who worked, achieved, and showed her that women don't have to choose between ambition and love. That's not something to feel guilty about.
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