The first time I managed someone, I thought my job was to have all the answers. I was 28 and terrified of looking incompetent, so I overcompensated by micromanaging everything. By 30, I'd burned out twice and lost two good team members because I couldn't let go. It took failing at management to learn what management actually was.
Good leadership isn't about being the smartest person on the team. It's about making everyone else smarter. At 30, I stopped trying to prove myself and started asking better questions. What do you need from me? What's blocking you? How would you solve this? The shift from directing to coaching changed everything — my team performed better, I stressed less, and the work improved because it had more than one brain behind it.
If you're stepping into leadership in your thirties, the best advice I can give you is this: hire people who are better than you at specific things and then get out of their way. Your job is to clear the path, not walk it for them.
One honest essay about life at 30, delivered weekly.
Thirty hits and suddenly the career you built in your twenties doesn't fit anymore. That's not failure — that's growth.
I spent my entire twenties being grateful for whatever I was offered. At 30, I finally learned what I was worth.
I thought by 30 I'd feel like I belonged. Instead, I learned how to show up anyway.